For readers who have already had some kind of interaction with Japanese people, have you ever experienced something like this? When a Japanese person brings you a gift and hands it to you, they say, “It’s nothing special, but please accept it.”
At that moment, you might wonder, “Why would they go to the trouble of saying ‘it’s nothing special’ when they’re giving you a gift?”
This is a Japanese expression of kenson (humility). It’s intended to show respect to the other person and ease the burden of receiving a gift. Japanese people are often perceived as difficult to interact with, and this humility may be one reason for this.
Today, I’d like to explore how to interact with Japanese people whose true intentions are difficult to gauge.
Communicating with Kyoto residents, where even Japanese people can be suspicious
Even Japanese people can have trouble with these kinds of verbal exchanges. One example is when a Kyoto resident interacts with a Japanese person from outside Kyoto.
One common story is about a visitor to a Kyoto native’s home who was asked by the host, “Would you like some bubuzuke (rice soaked in tea) ?” and the guest replied, “Yes, please,” leaving the host in a difficult position. When a Kyoto native asks, “Would you like some bubuzuke?”, they mean they have nothing else to offer and would like the guest to leave. Or, more bluntly, they mean, “Please leave now.”
Similarly, when a Kyoto native says, “You’re very knowledgeable,” they’re essentially saying, “You seem to know a lot, but your intrusion is unnecessary.”
Why go through all that trouble? Perhaps readers have wondered.
Essentially, economic columnist Hideki Oe, writing in a Yahoo! Japan website, explains that Kyoto people have a philosophy of consideration for others and not encroaching on others’ territory. He then goes on to explain that Kyoto has long been Japan’s capital, undergoing repeated changes of government, and protecting its way of life by not taking sides.
By no means, there are many bad people in Kyoto. However, communicating with Kyoto people, who are skilled at concealing their true intentions, can be a challenge even for other Japanese people.
So what should you do?
Incidentally, Oe’s article, mentioned above, states that the communication of Kyoto people and the average Japanese person who says “It’s nothing special, but…” mentioned earlier in this article may look the same to an outsider.
So what should you do if you’re unsure of a Japanese person’s true intentions when communicating with them?
If you’ve developed a relationship where you give gifts, as mentioned at the beginning, the other person likely understands you to be a foreigner. If that’s the case, they won’t take it as rude, even if you go slightly against Japanese culture or customs.
So, asking “Is that a kenson?” is unlikely to cause them anger. In fact, they may even be interested in the fact that you know the concept of kenson.
This applies not only to gifts case, but I believe it’s fine to ask about the intention behind something when you’re unsure of its true meaning.
